when i wear my black leather jacket and leggings and my black leather boots i think of you.
whenever i smoke a cigarette in front of my house i think you you you
and the conversations we use to have of our haunted childhoods.
when youre parents desrted you into bootcamp, when my mother kicked me out,
when our parents didnt love us enough and how they hated us when we didnt love them either.

when ever i think of you, i think of the heartbreak i suffered when we could of been together. fucking each other, telling each other how happy we were being in each other. how happy we were laughing at how mean we were to each other, slapping each other, scratching each other.

lying to each other,
yelling at each other,
being gentle with each other,
missing each other,HATING EACH OTHER
being rough with each other.


we were together together together.
in the simplest of ways.
and i wish i could have realized it then.

I love you.

And I love you because of this.
When we were in your car that night and you asked me if I thought I was pretty and I scoffed and said no.

You looked at me with the most serious I've ever seen you be and you told me.
"No. You are pretty.
You're a pretty girl.
And you know it.
That's why you hate to admit it."

That's the closest I've ever come to feeling beautiful.

I wasn't too drunk to remember that moment. I have the scar to remind us of that night. Proof that our love once burned in a cemetery, in a car, in a bathroom. Under the moon that baptized our love that was wrong, that was right. That was destined for failure the moment we knew it wasn't worth the fight.

We pissed on the earth, we kissed the sky. We held each other and knew the sun rised for us only.
That was the night I knew you only my blood pumped and pumped for your eyes and your brown skin against mine, and your pink tongue against mine.
One day I will see you again.
One day we'll meet.