Whenever this time of year comes around, the cold and the browning of leaves brings me back to you and the love I have always stored away for you.

This year, that love won't come.
I've replaced you too many times these past months for me to remember how we loved one another.
I've forgotten what that kind of love feels like.
I'm numb to your eyes and your touch.
My body no longer knows softness, my ears no longer know your words.
I am numb to your kiss.
My body had grown tough with experience.
Scars from other loves that have replaced you since those rainy days in November.
The dreams don't come around anymore where we're together.

But whenever this time of year comes around, I will remember how we loved one another in secret. And how I used to ache for you in the cold.