dirty dirty poem< YOU KNOW I DONT NEED YOU.

no matter how much i try and satisfy myself .it doesnt work.
fuck me to fuck you.
someone inappropriate will find this, it being you. or my dad. or SOMEONE.
I DON'T CARE.
now that the truth is just a rule we can just bend.
spend the night with me.
tell me im not worth it>
BECAUSE I AM NOT.

i dont what was wrong with you.
you should have never breathed it.
you have definitely just cursed yourself.


sickness rules my dead passed body, that in the shadows of green trees climaxes on serpent's tongues. this poetry i write is just for your sickness.
none of them could never do it for me.
none of them could never please me.
breathless orgasms of you will never CUM.
you are stolen goods. spells of lovers and herbs.
i could never wish it upon you.
CURSED by my words. i am too good of a person. and she knows that.
that is whhy she made me promise to never love you.
and from now on< size="5">

if i was never created in love,
how can i love?

there are too many questions<
i dont care if it hurts.
i want to hurt,
i want a perfect soul.
i want you to notice when im not around.
I WISH I WAS SPECIAL.
i am not.
youre so fucking special>
i wish i was special.


is it getting easy not too care?
i want to write everyone that i love and tell them every beautiful thing i think of them.
but i cant. its not normal.
its frightening. whey are we so afraid?
2009 is still not here. im begging for happiness before the end.

i know i wont be here to see the end. but im ok with that.

and now the buzz is running off.
and amanda isnt what i wanted or needed and you are not what i wanted or needed.
so i am more alone than before.
more than i expected.
I'M A CREEP. I'M A WEIRDO.


i want to have control.

I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO.
BUT I'M SO SCARED.

NO ONE CAN GIVE ME THE ANSWER.
AND I THINK THATS THE HARDEST.
because i already know what im about to do.
and what is worse is i already know the outcome.


its a terrifying sight,
because you and i are living the same way.


p.s. you are still in my nightmares.
david said i have trust issues.