tonight is my last night of smoking. and it is now 5 in the morning and i dont want to go to bed. i want to finish this bowl and have time stop. and im watching god has a voice, she speaks through me. cocorosie really scares me sometimes when i really put together their art. that music video and its meaning take me somewhere else.my poor hair. its a limp straight smelly fucking mess. its needs a good wash on a warm day...... i so bad want to let it be.
oh the insecurities of a mestizo who looks straight up mulatto.
if i blogged about whats going through my mind right now, i think i'd scare myself. my thoughts are in a strange place of isolation.i am living in fear. and i surrounded by the fears of everyone. basic instincts are kicking in.
fuck! its daylight outside now.
if i was a bird......
and then there is this band.
this past week, the knife has been so appropiate for everything right now.
in absolutely every aspect.
theyre this brother and sister who write about hermaphrodites, wearing masks, pornography, giving head with the lights on is artistic, the brief recollection of a rape..... EXTREMELY DISTURBING. but sooo beautiful.
and my painting... its just fucking sitting there.
its starting to drive me crazy just like the other one.
well, like all of them actually.....
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