give me your hands and we'll never die

ive been having the strangest dreams.

and they all have to do with alcohol or weed.
i had this one dream in which i finally smoked weed. (and its been a while. i just counted and its been over 5 months. :/ how did this happen?!) and in the dream, i was extremely high. it was the feeling of being drunk and you cant control yourself. but at the same time i was tripping out. it was the strangest feeling. but it felt sooo good to be high again. ive forgotten that feeling. i lived for that feeling. anyways in the dream, i was talking to my mom and i was trying to act normal. (like how i did every day senior year. :/ )and i felt like i was living that double life again. so i decided that i needed to hitchhike. and the sober side of me was trying to tell me not to, but the high me knew i HAD to. so i stuck my thumb out. but nobody would pick me up. as if they knew i was ready or something. i dont know. strange.

i had this other dream in which i was in santa barbara. (yes, infamous santa barbara) and it was weird. it was like 2 segments of the dream. the 1 being how i thought the night went, and the 2 how the night really went.
the first was i was with brenda, june, and anthony. and im guessing it was halloween because i was in that infamous bee costume. and we walked to a bar, and there was all these artists. and the bartender was giving me a bunch of drinks.white russians.margaritas. shots of tequila.
then somehow i lost my friends. and i ended going around kissing random boys (very much like that infamous night) except this time i was alone. then i kept walking and this girl in a wheelchair was wheeling beside me. and this tiger was on the loose and started chasing us. when i finally got to the apartment, these cops confronted me. then i finally got inside and met this guy who was june's friend. he was dressed as dracula and was named moby. he played me some film on some little girl who killed her parents. and we were talking through some crazy subtext.
then i woke up, told june and brenda what happened. and they completely disagreed.
they told me what happened and none of it was what i had thought. except for moby.
oh and i was arrested.

the strangest dreams.