tie my right hand to the bible

i had a dream last night.
it was the future and the end was here.
and you had children, and i still thought i loved you.
when will i ever learn?

fuck komodo dragons taking over the world.
but hai to sexy princes from antarctica saving the world.


my wisdom tooth keeps giving me really bad nightmares.
the skin is breaking..... finally.
im so tired. another crazy night......


im so bored with everything. im just ready for the next mistake i make.

im drunk on pain right now. :/
fuck wisdom teeth.

i havent posted in a while. its kind of been a crazy weekend.
well. i guess i should start at the beginning
and im not going to go into too much detail of some of the things that happened.
better left unsaid.

friday.
me and david were really bored and decided we were going to go on sunset and go look for hot guys. hahah, yes. that is what we do. then i got this crazy idea where i was like "hey, we should go back to the hood and show each other where we used to live back in the day." so david was down, and we went down firestone back to huntington park. and all these memories came flashing back. salt lake city park. st mathias. miles elementary, gage bowl. my nina and nino's house. HIS house. the twins house. we even drove by my grandparent's house which was very creepy of us because they do still live there. :| i dont know why we did it. and we ended up getting really depressed. i dont know. i had this weird epiphany that i thought those days were never going to end. i loved that routine. things were simple. and here i am a completely different person. i became who i wanted to be, and still very unsatisfied.
well when we saw gage bowl we were like hey lets go bowling there. but i didnt have socks so then we had to go all the way back home. then david told me something verrrrrrrry upsetting. not the subject just that he hadnt told me earlier. then he told me it was a lie. i dont believe him.
got socks. then went bowling in downey. we spent 44 dollars on cosmic bowling.... we were in the moment.
i really suck. ill have moments where i'm freaking awesome and then some where theyll go straight to the gutter. they played a lot of doors. and all the lights made me want to smoke.

saturday.
woke up soooooo sore. and tired. had to go to this child care safety class in order to get certified.
went to the movies with david. (it was a david filled weekend) he fell asleep so i stole his glasses and saw the movie crisp and clear. watched umm.....ghost town, good movie. well written.
my wisdom tooth is growing in...... and cutting into my flesh.
now i know why babies cant stop crying when theyre teething.

sunday.
had cpr in the morning.im now certified and protected by good samaritan law to save a life. which btw, do you know that in order to do cpr you have to remove all upper clothing. including bras.on the person you are performing cpr. awkward!
we decided to go somewhere. and of course, things happened.
i almost had a heart attack. it always does when david comes home. what a lucky charm. <3 got into a fight with david... it happens. got this crazy idea to go get THE poster at wal-mart. had a rat race through wal-mart. david pulled my beret off exposing my messy hair. andrea dropped and cracked her phone. in the end.... there was no poster. all i had was chest pain and sexual frustration for a rolling stone cover.

monday.
cleaned my room. burned sage and incense. clear out all bad energy. decided to pull an ultimate misson of bowling and stuff. and milkshakes. lost at bowling. saw a papa j look-a-like. seriously wouldve gone to a bathroom and tapped that. dont ask. andrea said he looked nothing like him...whatever! stuff kinda happened. nothing too big. saw a certain photographer. how i would kill for his job! fuck little trees that people put in front of their house. andrea crashed her car. hahahaha.

today.
had a really weird nightmare. i was at some party. and the usual happened where i cant control myself. except this time was too much. and that same feeling came back. maybe its my tooth giving me the bad nightmares.

heres some pictures.

my mom painted the bathroom this pretty color:

we were trying to pretend to sleep....it didnt really work out.

this is hilarious.

i caught her drinking out of the toilet bowl.

ive been really itchy today. and so was my boss. we're thinking its those coffee drinks we got from mcdonalds. :\
today at work, i had to lay down with one of the little girls cus she wouldnt go to sleep so i asked her if she wanted me to sing, so i sang true love waits by of course radiohead. and she fell asleep. :]
that is why i love my job.

so ive been doing a lot more reading on my wiccan stuff. i've found this nifty little shop in the LBC and this cool black chick runs it and calls me her little witchling. :D and ive bought some incense and protection soap and Egyptian musk oil(anyone whos knows me knows thats my scent) and ive bought a book on herbs and am starting to figure out what certain herbs do and what not. theres this one herb called aconite, and a grain of the root could kill a bird within seconds. and if you touched this plant, your skin would burn throughout the day. its crazy how all these herbs can do so much for us. good and bad. and somehow theyre manipulated and squeezed into tiny little pills to make us feel better.when you can actually make oils, teas and ointments or just plain smoke them.
i'll stick to my little hippie herbs. thank you very much.
being an herbalist is actually illegal.

anyway. off with david!!!

i dont know if this is just one of my moments of paranoia .
but i have a very bad feeling about the coming years.
obama is the best and worst thing that could happen at the moment.




i dont know.
im just getting really bad vibes at the moment.

HISTORY.


i cant wait to tell my grandkids.

Intense shit waiting to see results. They could pull a florida on us and tell us they need to recount votes and then there you go, mccain is our president.
And then there's the props.
Ugh.. Nerve racking.

fuck! i wrote this long ass blog about the whole weekend.

i wrote it on the greyhound buzzed, looking out at the ocean. beautiful ass coastline.


maybe i'll go into detail later.....doubt it.
all i can say is craziest weekend of my life.....ever. and i mean that sincerely.

already voted. although shit is getting crazy. when i got back, we decided to go to olvera st. we forgot it was dia de los muertos. we get there, and theres all these crazy conservatives with their yellow ass yes on prop 8 signs. and there was a bunch of hispanic people yelling back at them. it was intense. i was about to join in but my mom got really serious and told me not to.
i was fine with that, since in santa barbara i had already gotten into plenty of fights with white conservative college students about prop 8.