--

Dis-moi ce que tu penses
De ma vie, de mon adolescence

Dis-moi ce que tu penses
Moi j'aime aussi l'amour et la violence

-Sebastien Tellier

im lost in tears in the mirror again

i wanna give you my milk.....

yes... all of my milk




lost in some playground....

In My Secret Life

currently reading:

READ THIS BOOK!

it's about love and time.

smother

feeling so unholy.....


how can it feel, this wrong

dirty thoughts.

"feast your eyes, i'm the only one
control me, console me
cause that's just how it should be done
oh, all your history's like fire from a busted gun
i show some love and respect
don't wanna get a life of regret"

my nightmares have changed. its a complete different thing.
i know exactly what it means.
is time turning around?
would we do the things we wanted if there was limited time?
if we knew how many hours we had left.

water gun

eddie came over today. he might be leaving in a week to camp pendleton.
its such a sad thing to see somebody with eddie's brilliance go off to the military.
he's such a good little boy. he has his demons, but hes nothing but a gentle soul.

i dont really feel comfortable with any other boy as much as eddie.

the events of june 14th

1. did not go to sleep at all, sleep is so useless to me!
2. yard sale:
-while trying to pounce on eddie, i slammed my head against the wall
- i was pulling grass and the grass cut me
-got free stuff! bracelet, book.
-raced eddie while i was on a bike, him on foot. he totally fucking beat me.... hes a marine.
-brenda's mom made us delicious food.
-no real success
3. heard an ice cream truck, so june rode kenneth's bike and i rode eddie's with him on the pegs looking for an ice cream truck. no success. but it was so much fucking fun.
4. punched eddie in the balls.
5. arm wrestled, i am so fucking weak. even june was better than me.
6.had an extreme water fight. we tag teamed and made eddie suck dick! why go to iraq when you can shoot us with water all day?
7. played dead with eddie, he smothered me a little too hard. and he sucked at playing dead. when i would uncover his face he would already be smiling, supposedly 'he had died with a smile on his face'
8. played barbies with j and e, and we turned it into some wet t-shirt contest/ strip club squirting the barbies with the water gun while playing lovegame by lady gaga in the background. it ended in an orgy.
9. ate leftover tiramisu

i havent had so much fun in such a long time.
i felt like i was a little kid again.
i havent felt that in a while.
:)